


You Were Meant to Fly

by orphan_account



Series: Hearts as Loud as Lions [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jax clasped his hands behind his back. “Two Lions of Voltron dropped broken from the sky,” he said, the forced civility in his tone almost belying how close he was to losing his temper. “With all due respect, sir, I would like to see what anyone else would have done.”“No one else would have suspected the Red Paladin of being a thief,” Thelev remarked. Jax flinched, ever so slightly, and Raynia looked back at the captain."You both are to face the Council in three days,” he said. "Technically, and I hate to say it, but…” He cleared his throat. “Commander Jax, Commander Raynia, I am authorized and instructed to place you both under arrest."(Takes place after the events of "Something Wild Calls You Home.")





	1. Chapter 1

The morning sun shone bright, blinding Raynia as she and Jax stepped out of the castle ship. Cold air bit at her cheeks and the tips of her ears, and she zipped her jacket up to her neck and pulled her gloves out of her pocket.

Lieutenant Arin met them and saluted them. “Commanders,” he greeted them.

“How many dead?” Jax asked, his voice tight.

“Twenty,” Arin replied, and Raynia winced. Jax took a deep breath and nodded.

“Captain Thelev has arrived and wishes to speak with you,” Arin said. “I have been asked to take you to him.”

Raynia nodded. “All right,” she said, following Arin off the ramp and into the snow. Jax lingered behind, taking one last look at the castle ship.

“Commander,” she said gently, and Jax tore his gaze from the ship. He looked at her, and the pain and wonder mixed in his eyes echoed the emotions stirring around in her own heart.

They marched behind Arin past the captured Galra, purposefully _not_ looking at the dirty look Zendan was shooting them. Although Raynia clenched her fists, remembering how weak Jax had looked after getting out of the healing pod, and knowing Zendan had caused it.

 _Healing pod_ …Raynia had never even _heard_ of that kind of technology, let alone experienced first-hand a medical procedure that had saved her life and that of her unborn child. She shook her head. She’d felt the pain in her stomach seconds after she’d woken up to dust and debris and her fellow soldiers pulling her to her feet. But she’d dismissed it as an injury she could sleep off later and forced herself to continue in her duties.

And then Princess Allura had told her she was pregnant, and the cold reality that she’d almost _lost the baby_ had hit hard. It still sent a shudder through her if she thought about it for too long.

 _We’re going to have a baby_.

Wonder and disbelief mingled with that thought. She and Jax had spoken once about having children, knowing it was at _least_ eight years ahead of them.

 _Maybe,_ Jax had said, looking off into the distance with a small, thoughtful smile. He’d shrugged at her. _There’s a lot we need to consider, first._

Like how best to reveal the fact that they were _married_ when they probably shouldn’t be.

They had ten months now, instead of eight years, to figure that one out. Less, actually, depending on when Raynia started showing.

They reached Thelev’s ship, and the Deltan captain strode over to meet them. Raynia pushed her worries aside and saluted him with her right fist held against her chest.

“Commanders,” Thelev said by way of greeting, his tone harsh with disapproval.

“Captain Thelev,” Jax replied. His voice rasped, and Thelev raised an eyebrow.

“Are you well, Commander Jax?” Thelev asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“As you can see, Captain, the incident we reported escalated,” Raynia said. “We did our best—”

“Clearly your best wasn’t good enough,” Thelev snapped, and Raynia fell silent.

“Captain, we _did_ consult the Council,” Jax said.

“And you will stand trial and face the Council,” Thelev replied. He paused, noticing the other Deltans who had paused in their work to listen, and gestured Jax and Raynia to step aboard the ship.

“Do you realize what an opportunity this was?” Thelev barked at them once they were on the bridge and out of earshot. “For _ten thousand years_ we have been waiting for Voltron’s return, and you two almost lost the Red Lion to the hands of the Galra!”

“Sir, we were not prepared for such an event,” Raynia said.

Thelev remained silent a moment, then sighed. “No, no, you were not.” And suddenly Raynia wondered if he was speaking about more than just their lack of equipment.

“We left the Paladins on good terms,” Jax said.

Thelev raised an eyebrow. “Well _that’s_ good news.” He paused, glancing between them, then shook his head. “I don’t suspect you botched it _too_ badly,” he said.

Jax clasped his hands behind his back. “Two Lions of Voltron dropped broken from the sky,” Jax said, the forced civility in his tone almost belying how close he was to losing his temper. “With all due respect, sir, I would like to see what anyone else would have done.”

“No one else would have suspected the Red Paladin of being a thief,” Thelev remarked. Jax flinched, ever so slightly, and Raynia looked back at the captain.

“You both are to face the Council in three days,” he said. His expression gentled a little. “I am told you did well on a few points. You saved the life of the Green Paladin, and repaired his Lion.”

“Her,” Raynia corrected. “Her name is Pidge.”

Thelev nodded. “ _Her_ Lion.” He paused. “What, may I ask, was the Voltron force like?”

“Young,” Jax said, surprising Raynia. She would have chosen _bold_ or _daring,_ or even _cocky_ , if the Blue Paladin’s combat banter was anything to go by.

“And brave,” Raynia added. Thelev frowned at her, and Raynia shrugged. “Maybe it’s better if you see the videos.”

Thelev nodded. “You will be taken off-planet as soon as we stabilize the situation. Technically, and I hate to say it, but…” He cleared his throat. “Commander Jax, Commander Raynia, I am authorized and instructed to place you both under arrest. You are charged with the crimes of hurting a Paladin of Voltron, and negligence.”

“ _What_?” Jax sputtered, unclasping his hands and gaping at Thelev.

“Sir, this isn’t… this can’t be…That can’t be right!” Raynia exclaimed.

“We made what we thought was the best possible decision, given the circumstances,” Jax said, his tone pleading.

“Perhaps,” Thelev said. “That is for the Council to decide.”

“Where do you get negligence from?” Raynia demanded.

“I do not have time to argue with you two,” Thelev said. “You know where your quarters are. Get to them, and do not leave them until I tell you.” He pushed past them and left the ship.

Jax stood perfectly still. Raynia’s jacket suddenly felt too tight around her throat, and she unzipped it. Her hands trembled as she pulled her gloves off, and she shook her head and left Jax without a word.

Losing a base meant an inquiry, their every move and decision scrutinized. It happened every time commanders lost their bases, but they weren’t _arrested_ for it. Commanders who lost their bases faced a demotion, and that was it. Not jail time.

They would likely undergo a medical examination the second they got home, too. Raynia stopped in the hall and shut her eyes, realization kicking her in the chest. She didn’t have months until she started showing to think up a way to reveal her and Jax’s secret.

She had three days.

In three days the Council would either absolve their arrest charges, or throw them both in jail. And even if they got off scot-free, she and Jax had basically _lied_ to their superiors, keeping their marriage a secret. And then she’d gone and gotten pregnant, completely by accident. Her people _planned_ to bring younglings into the world when they were old enough and _ready…_

_What if they take the baby?_

Raynia’s hands shook harder than ever. Her shoulders shuddered, and her chest tightened and she couldn’t _breathe._ Her head spun and she braced a hand on the wall. Each breath felt like she was drowning further and further, getting less and less air with each panicked gasp.

And then an arm wrapped itself firmly around her shoulders, and Jax pressed her against his side. He hurried her down the hall and into her quarters, and closed the door behind him.

Raynia felt herself falling, and she grasped at thin air. Her hands closed on the front of Jax’s jacket. He knelt with her, and she looked up at him, desperately trying to get words out.

“ _I…c-can’t… breathe!”_ she gasped. Her chest heaved and her shoulders shook no matter how hard she tried to steady herself.

Jax’s mouth moved, but she couldn’t hear him. His arms pulled her close, holding her tight against him, and she pressed her head against his chest. She tried to focus, tried to count five things she could see, then four, but the unfamiliar surroundings reinforced the whole reason she was here. She gasped and trembled and shut her eyes, focusing only on gripping Jax’s jacket as hard as she could.

Jax’s hands ran up and down her back, and she finally heard what he was saying.

“You’re okay. Breathe, Raynia. I’m right here, you’re okay. Just breathe.”

Raynia sucked in a deep, shaky breath. Hot tears squeezed past her eyelids, trickling down her face.

 _What just happened??_ She gulped and opened her eyes, but didn’t look up.

“Raynia,” Jax murmured. “Listen to me. Are you listening?”

Raynia nodded, and Jax continued to rub her back, the motion constant and soothing.

“Take a deep breath. Like this.” He breathed in, long and slow, and Raynia did her best to mimic him.

“Now let it out,” he murmured, and Raynia tried to not exhale all at once.

“What is your name?” he asked, and Raynia realized with a pang what he was doing.

 _Grounding, a common technique to ease the strain of a panic attack_ , she remembered from her textbook.

“Raynia,” she whispered, scrunching her eyes shut.

“What is your rank?”

“Commander.”

“Age?”

“T-Twenty-two.” Her voice wavered, and she clamped her mouth shut.

“It’s all right, Raynia,” Jax murmured.

 _No, it’s not_ , she thought. Her breath hitched, and the tears fell faster.

“Shh,” Jax breathed. “It’s over now, you’re okay.”

“We h-have to report this,” she choked out. “There’s cameras in the hall, Thelev is going to find out.”

“I know. It’ll be okay.”

Raynia pulled back and finally looked at him. His eyes were kind and full of sympathy. He placed a gentle hand on the side of her face, dabbing her tears away with his thumb. She shut her eyes, feeling the coolness of his hand against her skin.

“I am very, very proud of you,” Jax said. “You remained strong through this entire ordeal, and you commanded our troops with a calm, level head. You helped save the Green Paladin’s life, and you worked with her to save the base. You performed better than our best commanders, and I am _so_ proud of you.”

Raynia opened her eyes and ducked her head. She let go of his jacket and let her hands fall to her lap. Jax rested his hand on top of her clenched fist, gently stroking her fingers with his thumb.

“What if they take our baby because of this?” she whispered.

“They won’t. Raynia, they _won’t_ take our child from us.”

“We’re too young,” Raynia continued. “We’re too young, and the base is ruined, and we almost lost the Lion, and…they’re going to say I’m unfit for command, and definitely unfit to raise a youngling—”

“No.” Jax gripped both her hands. “They’re _not_ going to say that. We did our best, and we have a written statement from the Paladins backing us up. Two Paladins of Voltron are vouching for us, after all that’s happened.”

Raynia shut her eyes, and Jax pulled her close again.

“Everything will be all right,” he murmured.

Raynia said nothing, but relaxed into his embrace, listening to his deep, steady breaths. His heart thudded strong and slow, and the tension in Raynia’s chest eased up.

“Thank you,” Raynia whispered.

“I love you,” Jax replied, kissing the top of her head.


	2. Chapter 2

Jax sat quietly on the edge of Raynia’s bunk, gently stroking her hair while she lay curled on her side. Her breaths came slow and even, though Jax knew she wasn’t asleep. Her brow remained furrowed, her fists clenched around the edge of the blanket.

“You need to sleep, Little One,” Jax had murmured fifteen minutes ago, helping her out of her coat. She hadn’t protested at the nickname, which had added yet another layer of worry to Jax’s mind. He’d tucked her in, kissed her lightly, and resolved to stay with her until she fell asleep.

The last time this had happened had been when they’d been married only a month and had still been in the academy. She’d overloaded herself with her coursework, which had lead to her not sleeping, which had led to them very nearly failing a crucial combat test and almost losing their command before they even left for Ceti Alpha Nine.

She’d then broken down one evening, exactly like she’d broken down now. She’d gasped for air, shaking and crying; Jax had honestly been afraid for her life.

 _Panic attack_ , the school’s psychologist had explained, noting it on Raynia’s otherwise incident-free medical record. The timing couldn’t have been worse: Raynia’s twenty-first birthday, and thus the standard psychological evaluation necessary for all Deltan soldiers, came on the following week.

“You don’t have to do this,” Jax had said. “We don’t have to be commanders for us to be together.”

“I’m not giving up,” she’d replied firmly, although Jax hadn’t missed the stark worry in her blue eyes.

She’d pulled it together, and dropped two classes to make her course load easier, and managed to squeak by the evaluators’ criteria. She’d told Jax the news with a grin that didn’t meet her eyes, and he’d hugged her close and felt her trembling in his arms.

“You’re strong,” Raynia, he’d said, “but you don’t have to do this to yourself.”

She’d gulped and pulled back, wiping her eyes. “I’m _not_ giving up. I’ve lived with anxiety my entire life, and I’ve gotten this far. It’s not diagnosable, and even if it were, I wouldn’t let it hold me back.”

Jax had smiled small and fond at her. “That’s my girl,” he’d murmured.

Raynia’s hands loosened on the blanket, and her lips parted ever so slightly as she finally fell asleep. Jax leaned down and kissed her forehead, then got up and silently left her quarters.

Captain Thelev rounded a corner and entered the hall just as Jax closed Raynia’s door behind him. Jax quickly straightened and saluted Thelev with a fist over his chest, dearly hoping he hadn’t seen him leaving Raynia’s room.

But Thelev’s eyes narrowed, and Jax’s stomach clenched.

“At ease, Commander,” Thelev said. Jax clasped his hands behind his back. But to his surprise, Thelev didn’t ask why he wasn’t in his quarters yet.

“Do you have anything to report, Commander?” Thelev asked instead.

Jax blinked at him. “No, sir.”

Thelev frowned and remained silent a moment, his eyes locked on Jax. He studied him for a long moment; Jax remained rigid, not daring to look at Thelev . It felt like his and Raynia’s secret was written all over his face, and Thelev was reading every last detail.

“You and Raynia have a preliminary hearing in ten hours,” Thelev said. “You will state your case before me and a Councilmember via holograph. Every detail of the mission will be reported and analyzed.” He leaned forward ever so slightly. “ _Every_ detail, Commander.”

“I understand,” Jax said.

Thelev was silent a moment. “I’m going to ask you again, Jax,” he said, his voice softer. “Do you have anything to report that is not in the public log?”

Jax gulped. Oh, how easy it would be to tell Thelev everything. Jax had known the older captain since he’d been a teenager—Thelev had been a friend of his late father. Thelev had helped him get into the Academy, had even pulled what strings he could to ensure Jax and Raynia’s command position.

Their secret would come out eventually, he knew. But spilling everything to Thelev now, without Raynia’s knowledge, seemed….wrong, somehow.

“No, sir,” Jax said, forcing his voice to remain steady. “I have nothing to report.”

Thelev studied him a moment longer, then sighed. “Get some rest. We will be leaving the planet in a few hours. You and Raynia will undergo a medical examination once we’ve left orbit.”

 _Uh oh._ “Captain, we both received medical treatment from the Alteans before we left.”

“I see,” Thelev replied. “The examination is still necessary, however, if only as a formality. You are dismissed, Commander.”

Jax saluted Thelev once more before making his way down the hall to his quarters. He shut his door behind him and leaned against it, pulling his hand down his face. His throat tickled, and he coughed once, twice, and before he knew it his chest heaved with deep, racking coughs. His eyes watered when he finally caught his breath. He stalked over to his bunk and flopped onto it, glaring at the ceiling. The last thing he needed, on top of his damaged throat, was his cough from two weeks ago to make a comeback.

Raynia’s smiling face flickered in his mind’s eye, when she’d caught him trying to sneak back to his duties before being medically cleared. She’d laughed at his indignation at being confined to bed rest, tracing her fingers briefly across his cheek when no one was looking.

It was little moments like that that made keeping their secret bearable. A small smile across a crowded room, a gentle nudge as they passed in the halls, the wonderful but few days when their schedules lined up and they could spend their free time together.

 But no matter how well they kept the façade up, no matter how well they seemed to convince their troops that there was _nothing_ going on between them, there was always a lingering worry in the back of Jax’s mind. He’d tense whenever Raynia’s name came up in casual conversation, and he always wondered how much his soldiers _really_ knew. And he knew that nagging worry resonated even more with Raynia. Sure, she’d grown stronger in the year since her first panic attack. But he’d seen the tension in her eyes, in the way her hands would tremble sometimes, in the way her voice would shake for a split second before she cleared her throat and covered it up. She’d confided in him multiple times how afraid she’d been that they’d be found out.

And he would force a confident demeanor and reassure her they had nothing to worry about. He’d convinced her, and she’d relaxed a little, and over the span of a month or so they’d gotten careless.

And then they’d gotten information from Princess Allura that sent their façade crumbling and crashing down around them, leaving them desperately hiding behind the rubble.

He should have been smarter. Should have done something, _anything_ that would have kept them out of this mess. But he just didn’t _think._

Jax pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Raynia,” he choked out to the empty room.

* * *

 

Raynia awoke to a quiet, dim cabin, the soothing sounds of the air shafts gently coaxing her from sleep. She shifted in her bunk to get more comfortable, snuggling up under the blanket and expecting to feel Jax at her side.

But he wasn’t there.

Raynia’s eyes snapped open, taking in the unfamiliar cabin. Her chest tightened, a burning pain along her sternum that resonated with the sudden twisting in her gut. She shut her eyes as nausea washed over her, tingling on her cheeks. A tiny whimper escaped her lips, and she pulled the blanket over her head. She clenched her fists, feeling her heart pound and her breath come faster.

 _Stop it…STOP it…_ Raynia swallowed and forced herself to take a deep breath. And another, and another. But her stomach wrenched itself again, violently so. Raynia gasped and lurched out of bed, stumbling for the lavatory. She only just made it, collapsing onto her knees while her stomach emptied itself into the waste deposit.

She sat there for several long minutes afterwards, her head resting against the wall, feeling herself shaking with cold or nerves—or both, she didn’t know anymore.

_Raynia, my dear, we were able to save the child._

_The child….What child?!_

_You are pregnant…You did not know?_

Raynia drew her knees to her chest and buried her head in her arms.

* * *

 

“The Council will determine the appropriate course of action within the next three days. Commanders Jax and Raynia, you are to stand trial as soon as you return.”

“Understood, Ma’am,” Raynia replied in unison with Jax. She could see Thelev’s narrow-eyed gaze across from them through the flickering light of the hologram on the table. The councilwoman snapped off the connection, and Jax’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly.

“This preliminary hearing is now complete,” Thelev said, switching off the recording device. Raynia expected him to dismiss them, but he merely glanced at the door, then looked between the two, studying them.

“Neither of you have told the Councilwoman the whole truth,” he said finally. Raynia tensed.

“We told her everything that was relevant,” Jax replied, straightening.

“But you’re still hiding something, Commander.”

“We’re not—” Jax’s protest dissolved into a coughing fit. He covered his mouth with his hand.

“Do not lie to me, Commander,” Thelev warned. Jax’s coughing subsided, but he remained silent.

“I was advised by one of my ensigns to review the security footage from yesterday,” Thelev said, and Raynia’s stomach clenched.

But Thelev’s tone suddenly gentled. “Jax, Raynia, I am here to _help_ you. Raynia, you need to explain to me what happened in the hall.”

Raynia sighed and looked down at the table. “I believe it would be classified as a panic attack, sir,” she said, her voice hardly louder than a whisper.

“I see,” Thelev said. “Jax, you seemed to know exactly how to help her.”

“Because it happened once before, and he was there,” Raynia broke in. “It’s on my medical record, you can look it up.” She scowled.

“Do you know why it happened this time?” Thelev asked.

A memory of the scan from the healing pod, of the blurry picture of her daughter, flashed into Raynia’s mind. Her throat closed up and she nodded, feeling tears sting her eyelids.

“Losing a base is actually not that uncommon,” Thelev said. “You both know that.”

“It’s not that,” Raynia said. She swallowed. “J-Jax and I…we’re…we got married right before we left for Ceti Alpha Nine. A-and…” Her voice shook and her breath trembled. She couldn’t look at Thelev, she couldn’t look at Jax. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling small and alone in the midst of a turbulent ocean of worry.

“The Alteans discovered Raynia is pregnant with our daughter,” Jax finished, his voice strained. But Raynia felt his hand rest gently on her arm, a small but immensely reassuring gesture, anchoring her back to the moment.

A long, silent moment passed. “Our scanners did not detect this,” Thelev said. “Are you sure?”

Raynia opened her eyes and swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

“How old are you two again?” Thelev asked them.

“Twenty-two,” Raynia whispered.

“Twenty-five,” Jax replied. “Sir, we know we’re too young. This…this wasn’t planned, at all.” He took a breath, as if he were gathering his thoughts to speak again, but Thelev spoke first.

“This isn’t good,” he said. “Your irresponsibility also lost the base and almost created an irreparable rift between our race and Voltron. At least, that’s how the Council seems to see it.”

“But we _mended it_.” Raynia said, not bothering to keep the frustrated exhaustion from her voice. “We have an affidavit…” She gestured vaguely to the tablet sitting on the table.

“I know,” Thelev said gently. “You were both very creative and resourceful. Believe me, that’s going to count for something.”

“Sir…” Jax began. “I…we…We want to keep our daughter. I know it’s not for you to decide, but…is there any way of knowing what’s going to happen?”

“I’m afraid not,” Thelev replied. “I don’t dare to even guess at this point.” He sighed and looked back at the affidavit. “The best course of action is to be as honest as possible with the Council. It will not be a public trial—if it were, they’d be overwhelmed. You two became celebrities as soon as word got back home.”

“Wonderful,” Raynia said drily. Jax’s hand tensed on her arm.

“The other thing you can do is to be strong.” Thelev said. “For each other, for yourselves, and for your daughter. Jax, you are going to have to _prove_ to the Council that you’re capable of supporting Raynia and the child. And Raynia…I won’t sugar-coat it, but I’m afraid you might be deemed unfit for command. However, despite common belief, this does _not_ mean you’re unfit to be a mother. Yes, you had two panic attacks. But you’re also the co-commander of a base. You need to emphasize that strength. You _must_ keep it together. If they decide to diagnose you with a mental disorder—and they’ll try, believe me,” he added in deference to Raynia’s scowl, “let them. Go with it, and prove you’re still a warrior at heart.”

Raynia blinked at Thelev. No one, save her parents and Jax, had ever spoken to her like that before, and frankly, she wasn’t used to it.

“If you do, in fact, lose your child, there is still hope,” Thelev continued. “You will both continue to prove your worth, and the second Raynia is old enough, you will ask for her back. And you might succeed. But you _must_ be strong. Am I clear?”

Jax straightened, and Raynia followed suit, almost on reflex. “Yes, sir,” she replied.

“Understood, sir,” Jax said, a note of surprise in his voice.

Thelev smiled, small and tight. “I won’t say that everything is going to turn out all right. But it will be what it will be, and I will do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you, sir,” the two young warriors replied. Raynia felt her eyes prickle with tears again, and she glanced at Jax to see him quickly swipe at his eyes.

“You are no longer confined to quarters,” Thelev said. “Dismissed. And Jax, do something about that cough.”

* * *

 

Jax gulped down a capful of the sticky cough medicine, wincing when it burned his throat. He sighed and rested his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. Beside him, Raynia capped the medicine and set it next to his bunk. She then sat next to him and ran a gentle hand across his back. Back and forth, across his shoulder blades, the motion soothing away the headache that had started just before the briefing.

“How’s your throat feel?” Raynia asked. “Did the medial officers say anything about it?”

“Just to let it heal. It’s not as sore,” Jax replied. He shut his eyes.

“Keep an eye on it,” Raynia said.

They fell silent, merely sitting still in the quiet of Jax’s quarters. Jax thought over the events of the day—running into Arin after the medical exam and noting the stark amount of sympathy in the lieutenant’s eyes. In the eyes of all his crew, actually, when they’d gone to the mess after the briefing to grab a discreet bite to eat.

“I just want to know what’s going to happen,” Jax muttered. “If they’re going to throw us in jail, fine. If they’re…if they take our daughter…I just want to _know_ what they’re going to do.”

“I know,” Raynia replied, scooting closer and resting her head on his shoulder. Jax remembered suddenly how she’d looked that morning, in the moments before they were escorted to separate medical evaluations. Her face had been _gray_ , and she’d been trembling, just barely keeping her military bearing in place.

“How are you feeling?” Jax asked.

“Better,” Raynia replied. Her voice had that tired wornness to it, and Jax internally winced at the pain she was undoubtedly going through. And he hadn’t done anything about _that_ , either.

They were silent for several long minutes more. Raynia’s breath grew deeper, and Jax felt her relax a little against him.

“Raynia?”

“Hm?”

“Do you…do you regret any of this?”

Raynia sat up and looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“If you could do it over…” Jax swallowed and looked down at his hands.

“I would still marry you,” Raynia said firmly. She paused, and her voice gentled. “Maybe we could have been something else, instead of commanders.”

Jax took a breath. “Raynia…I…I should have been a better husband to you. I shouldn’t have asked you to marry me when I did, I shouldn’t have asked you to keep all this a secret. I put you through more stress than you needed, and…I’m truly sorry.”

“Neither of us were thinking.” Raynia laughed ruefully. “For two of the Academy’s brightest students, we sure managed to make a stupid mess.” She leaned forward and tilted his head towards her. “Jax. We messed up. We should have done a lot of things differently. But it’s done now. We made our mistakes, and now it’s time to fix them.” She moved even closer, cradling his face with both hands. “And yes, we didn’t go about our marriage properly. But being your wife has _always_ been my honor.”

“The honor is mine,” Jax whispered. Raynia smiled, and closed the distance between them. They kissed, and then Jax shifted so he was sitting fully on his bed, his back against the headboard. Raynia curled up in his arms, tucked snugly against his chest. Her eyes drifted shut, and Jax rested a hand on her stomach, thinking about the tiny life she carried. He smiled.

“We need to think of a name,” he said softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I probably won't finish this...here's a rough synopsis.

  * Lieutenant  Arin finds out about Raynia's pregnancy through over hearing two medical technicians gossiping while he goes through a routine medical exam.
  * Arin is about 30, and he's been protecting the two impossibly young commanders--the youngest in history--from gossip and slander
  * Because he's had a suspicion that there's something going on between them, but rather than fuel any rumors he hears, he dispels them as soon as he can.
  * And he does the same in the medbay. He pulls rank on the ensigns and tells them to report their findings (they're supposed to anyway) but to  _not_ speculate any further on who the father of the baby is (And he realizes that the way he's defending Raynia, it makes him look like  _he_ is the father--a notion he also quickly dispels).
  * He leaves the medbay afraid for Jax and Raynia, because he  _knows_ they're too young.
  * A few days later, Thelev's ship lands and Jax and Raynia, who are still technically under arrest, are escoreted in handcuffs to different holding cells.
  * A crowd has gathered, and some are cheering, some are booing, because of what Jax and Raynia and their crew did on Ceti Alpha Nine.
  * Raynia sees her parents through the crowd, and she has to bite her tongue to keep from calling out to them. But their eyes meet, and her mom's are filled with stark worry.
  * Later Raynia's parents visit with Raynia. Raynia's mom hugs her tight and tells her that she loves her no matter what. Raynia gulps and tells her parents the truth about the pregnancy. And she tells them about the panic attacks (her parents never knew about the first one) and how scared she is that they'll take the baby.
  * Her parents are shocked, and there's a bit of anger in her ada's eyes (ada means father in their language). Her ada never really liked Jax.
  * But Raynia's mom hugs her again and tells her through a tearful smile that they will help Raynia as best she can. "You're kind and brave, my daughter," she says. "You will make an excellent mother."
  * Rayia's parents visit Jax as well, and the visit is a little stiffer. But Raynia's mom gives Jax a hug as well, and Raynia's father actually nods once at him.
  * The trial is a private affair, with only a few officials present. Lt. Arin testifies in Jax and Raynia's favor, as does Captain Thelev.
  * However, the Council rules them both guilty of their crimes. They _did_ hurt Keith, badly. Although the affidavit weighs heavily on the outcome--they are both sentenced to 100 days in prison.
  * And then the Council makes a decision concerning the child. Jax and Raynia are standing together, holding hands tightly, not daring to breathe.
  * "The Council has ruled that Commander Raynia is unfit for command, and will no longer have a part in our military." 
  * Raynia feels the ground falling away from her, her chest tightening up, her heart pounding.  _No, no, please, no..._
  * "Commander Jax will be demoted to the rank of Lieutenant."
  * _What about the baby??_ Raynia wants to scream.
  * "The Council recommends psychiatric evaluation and counseling for Raynia."
  * _Fine, I'll do it, just TELL ME IF I CAN KEEP MY BABY._
  * There's a long pause, and the Councilmembers whisper. Raynia gulps and ducks her head.
  * "Steady," Jax whispers. "It'll be okay." But his voice is tight and shaky.
  * "The Council has ruled that Lieutenant Jax, and his wife of a year and a half, Raynia, may keep their child once she is born, providing they can prove they can care for her."
  * Raynia looks up, stunned, disbelieving what she heard.
  * "This hearing is concluded."
  * And then Jax is hugging her, and Raynia is clinging to him, crying harder than she's ever cried in her life.




	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (more of that synopsis)

  * The Council changes Raynia's sentence to 100 days of house arrest, as opposed to putting her in prison, because of her pregnancy.
  * She and Jax get one last,  brief moment together. 
  * Jax hugs her tight. "Be strong," he murmurs. Raynia nods, still completely surprised and elated that  _we get to keep the baby!!_ She gently cradles his face with both hands and kisses him. When she pulls back, she can see the fear in his eyes.
  * Jax is afraid of going to prison.
  * "Be brave," she whispers, smiling gently at him. 
  * Jax ducks his head and laughs ruefully. "Co-Commander of a hundred men, and I'm afraid of this."
  * Raynia tilts his head back up to face her. "100 days is not that long, and they'll look out for you. You'll be okay."
  * "I know." Jax swallows. "I'll miss you."
  * "I'll miss you too."
  * They kiss once more, and Jax is led away. For a brief moment Raynia isn't sure what to do. She's surrounded by officials, but none of them are moving. 
  * Then Arin pushes through the crowd towards her. "Excuse me, please." He holds up a document. "I'm her point of contact."
  * And Raynia is immensely relieved at that. Arin's been like an older brother to her for the year that she's known him.
  * He drives her home--Raynia realize suddenly that she and Jax never actually  _had_ a home to call their own. 
  * But Arin's been on top of things. He's gotten Jax and Raynia the best but cheapest apartment he could find (so they wouldn't be stuck paying for an arm and a leg for a place they didn't like) and explains to Raynia that once Jax is out of prison, they can go looking for a better one if they want.
  * The apartment is in a quiet part of the city, with few tenants. Arin also explains to Raynia that there's cameras on the door, so the police will know if she has any unauthorized visitors, or if she tries to sneak out.
  * And with that, he hands Raynia Jax's personal effects (his jacket, his spare uniform, and his wedding band) and tells her a psychologist will be in contact with her shortly.
  * "If there's anything else you need, don't hesitate to ask, Raynia," he says.
  * Raynia smiles at him and thanks him. He leaves, telling her he'll take her to her first appointment with the psychologist once she schedules it. And then he leaves, leaving Raynia to wander through the empty apartment.
  * There's a bit of a draft from an open window, and Raynia pulls Jax's jacket on. She pauses a moment, snuggling in its warmth and breathing in his scent.
  * A week later, Raynia has her first appointment. Arin stops by, and notices the worried lines on her face.
  * He doesn't say anything until he's driving the hovercar through the city--he's not that great with words, and he doesn't want to upset her. He makes it up to the clearer level of traffic, and remarks to Raynia, "It really is a good thing that you're doing this."
  * Raynia nods. "I know," she says. She looks out the window, her fingers tapping on her knee.
  * "Is there something bothering you?" Arin asks hesitantly. "I mean, you don't have to answer," he adds quickly.
  * Raynia takes a breath. "What if the Council is lying?" she asks, turning to Arin. "What if they're lying about our daughter?"
  * Arin internally kicks himself. "Way ahead of you," he says, digging in his pocket for holographic display. He hands the palm-sized disk to Raynia, who opens it up and looks at the document--the official ruling from the Council.
  * "That's been officially sealed," Arin explains. "Yours and Jax's case is closed, unless something comes up later."
  * Raynia reads the document, and a relieved smile spreads across her face. 
  * "Thank you, Arin," she says.




	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (more synopsis)

  * Raynia's appointments with the psychologist go smoothly. She meets with the psychologist once a week, and with a gynecologist every few weeks.
  * Arin takes her to every appointment, and gives her updates on Jax (who isn't allowed to talk to her).
  * One day, after a gynecologist appointment where the gender of the baby is finally visible to Deltan technology, Raynia is quiet, looking out the window. Arin notices she's blinking fast, like she's trying not to cry.
  * "You miss Jax," he says quietly.
  * "Yes," Raynia says. She swallows and shrugs. "Only 45 days left."
  * Arin nods,  and remains silent until they're almost home.
  * "Jax loves you, Raynia," he says suddenly. "Very, very much."
  * Raynia blinks at him.
  * "On Ceti Alpha Nine," Arin continues, "I thought there was something going on between you." Arin pauses. "Jax is very good at keeping his military bearing. But his eyes gave it away, every time he looked at you."
  * Raynia doesn't say anything, but thinks over this for a long time.
  * Raynia spends her time talking to her parents when they call through the telecomms. She's also taking a supplemental class, an add-on to her nursing degree. She also works out, careful of the baby.
  * But she still gets bored.
  * One day she's braiding her hair in a new way, when the telecomms chirp. She undoes the messy braid and goes to answer it. The number is unfamliiar, and she sighs, thinking she'll be talking to a telemarketer.
  * But it's Pidge.
  * Raynia gasps, and Pidge grins and waves at her. "Hi Raynia!" she says through a translator.
  * Raynia nods at her. "Greetings, Green Paladin," she says, unable to keep the surprise from her voice.
  * "You can call me Pidge," she says. "How are you?" She leans forward, her eyes suddenly going concerned. "How was the trial...?"
  * Raynia explains everything to Pidge, who practially  _squeals_ when Raynia tells her about the baby.
  * "Raynia that's wonderful! What are you going to name her?"
  * "We haven't decided yet," Raynia shrugs.
  * "You'll figure it out." Pidge glances off-camera, and waves at someone. "I gotta go," she tells Raynia.
  * "It was nice to talk to you," Raynia says with a smile.
  * "I'll call again soon!" Pidge says, and Raynia brightens.
  * "Yes, please do!" she says. She internally winces, not wanting to sound desperate for company, but Pidge grins and waves goodbye.
  * Raynia stands there for a moment, then twirls in the living room, ecstatic. There was  _no_ trace of the drama from Ceti Alpha Nine in Pidge's eyes. No irrepearable rift, only friendship.
  * "Take that, Council! I'm friends with a Paladin of Voltron!" Raynia then laughs at how silly she's being, and goes to fix herself some dinner.
  * Raynia's appointments with the psychologist go well. She grows more confident, and learns techniques to deal with her anxiety when it hits. And it starts to happen less and less, much to her elation.
  * The days till Jax comes home are 20, then 10, and then the day arrives. There's a knock at her door, and it's not Arin, it's someone new for once.
  * It's Jax, looking tired and thinner, but his eyes light up when he sees her, and Raynia sees what Arin was talking about.
  * They hug, and don't let go for a long, long time.




	6. Chapter 6

  * The months pass, and Jax and Raynia finally think of a name for the baby.
  * As the baby grows, the pregnancy gets a little more difficult. Raynia's tired a lot more often, and her back and neck tend to  _ache_ after a long day.
  * (She's gotten a job as nurse, while Jax teaches English to a few curious students.)
  * Sometimes Raynia will sit on the couch, and Jax will sit on the back of the couch, and massage her aching shoulders. Oftentimes Raynia falls asleep with her head against his knee. Jax will then carry her to bed, tuck her in, and kiss her gently.
  * Overall, though, she's doing well. No complications, the baby appears to be healthy, and the days Raynia is hurting are few and far between.
  * One day, she and Jax are folding some linen, when Raynia suddenly frowns and puts a hand on her lower back. Jax looks at her, and the baby is sitting a  _lot_ lower.
  * "The baby dropped?" he asks.
  * "Yep," Raynia replies with a smile. "I can finally breathe again."
  * A few more days pass, and Raynia is fixing breakfast. Jax is telling her about how they have to reconfigure the translators--"we've had English grammar wrong for  _years_ , Raynia!"
  * Suddenly Raynia growls and slams her fist on the counter, startling Jax. "What?" he asks.
  * "Nothing," Raynia says, glaring at the stovetop.
  * "...Did I say something?" Jax asks.
  * "No," Raynia snaps. She takes a deep breath and goes back to the breakfast. But two minutes later she cringes and cries out, almost knocking the pans off the stove.
  * "Raynia?" Jax asks, hurrying to her side.
  * "The baby's coming," Raynia whispers, then clamps a hand over her mouth, her face twisted into a grimace.
  * "Come on," Jax says, helping her to the door. He slaps the button on the telecomms, opening a verbal-only channel. He calls for an ambulance, since there's no time to call Arin for a ride.
  * Raynia and Jax are hurried into the back, and the ambulance soars into the sky, above all the traffic. Raynia has a death grip on Jax's arm. But the technicians seem calm, and Jax assumes everything is going smoothly.
  * Suddenly Raynia cries out again, her eyes scrunched shut. One of the technicians runs a tricorder over her, and his eyes widen.
  * "Call the hospital," he says. "We have a Code Nine."
  * "What's a Code Nine?" Jax asks. Raynia's eyes snap open, and she looks at Jax with pure terror in her eyes. She knows what the code is, tries to tell him, but cries out again instead.
  * "An emergency. Step back, please," the technician tells Jax. Jax gently pries Raynia's fingers off his arm, but takes her hand as he sits back.
  * "Jax," she gasps, shaking in fear.
  * "It's okay," Jax murmurs, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. "You're going to be fine."
  * The technicians give Raynia a shot of anesthesia, and she goes limp.
  * They reach the hospital, and Jax is pushed aside. He's not allowed into Raynia's hospital room, and he tries for hours to get in, or to get any word from the doctors.
  * But he gets no information.
  * After nine hours, Arin runs through the hospital. He'd been on duty, and had only  _just_ heard the news.
  * He bursts into the waiting room and sees Jax sitting still, staring at the floor.
  * "Jax! I came as soon as I heard..." He trails off when Jax looks at him. Arin has  _never_ seen that much pain in a person's eyes in his life.
  * "Jax? The baby--"
  * "She's dead," Jax whispers. And for a heart-stopping minute Arin has no idea who Jax is talking about--the baby or Raynia?
  * "Leola," Jax continues. "She did not...survive..." Jax's breath hitches and he breaks off, looking down and shutting his eyes.
  * Arin can only stand stock still in shock. He then grabs a chair and drags it in front of Jax and sits down.
  * "Jax...I'm so, so sorry..."
  * Jax shakes his head, unable to say a word. Arin clasps him by the shoulders and embraces him, and Jax breaks. The young Deltan warrior, an impossibly young commander thrown into battle far too early, who stood strong through the most intense battle in their people's recent history, is now shattering at the loss of his daughter.
  * "They...wouldn't even let me see her," Jax chokes, pulling back.
  * Arin pauses, frowning. "What about Raynia?"
  * "She's...still asleep," Jax says.
  * Arin is silent a moment. A nurse steps into the room, and Arin looks up at her.
  * "Raynia will be waking shortly," she says quietly. Here eyes are full of sympathy, but she doesn't say another word and leaves the room.
  * "Jax," Arin says. "You need to go to Raynia. You need to be strong for her."
  * Jax nods and wipes his eyes and stands. He takes a shuddering breath and enters Raynia's room.
  * Arin remains outside for a moment. He then makes a decision, and goes to leave.
  * But not before he hears Raynia's anguished wail from the room.




	7. Chapter 7

  * A few weeks pass, and they're not without their strife. Raynia becomes quiet and sad. She doesn't cry, she doesn't talk to Jax much, she simply goes through the motions of living.
  * Jax is a boiling pot of fury, and he struggles to find an outlet. More than once he and Raynia have gotten into a shouting match, over the most trivial of things--who burned the dinner, who didn't clean, etc. But instead of fighting Jax for very long, Raynia would simply go quiet and concede his point. Even if Jax realized later he was wrong and apologized, Raynia would simply nod. 
  * Arin shows up one day, and his eyes are intense. Raynia opens the door and lets him in, confused.
  * "Is Jax home?" Arin asks. Raynia nods and calls for Jax.
  * Arin wait for Jax, then takes a breath. "There's something you need to know. Leola isn't dead."
  * Jax and Raynia stare at him, and Jax's brows knit together in fury.
  * _"Is this some kind of joke?"_ he snaps.
  * "Jax!" Raynia exclaims. Jax takes a step forward, shaking off Raynia's hand from his arm.
  * "We have her death certificate," Jax continues.
  * "It was faked," Arin says. He stands tall, meeting Jax's seething rage with a steely-eyed determination. "You want to know why you weren't allowed to see her, Jax?" He turns to Raynia. "If it were really a Code Nine, your hospital visit would have been a  _lot_ longer."
  * Raynia blinks at Arin. "What, then? What happened to our daughter?"
  * Arin sighed. "The Council lied to you both."
  * "What??" Raynia sputters. "Arin, you said they didn't!"
  * "I know what I said," Arin replies. "And at the time, it was true. But someone came forward and testified against you. They said you both were unfit to raise a youngling. So rather than frighten you both, the doctors simply lied to you and took your child."
  * Jax's hands tightened into fists. "Who was it?" he demands.
  * "I don't know. I couldn't get the documents decrypted in time."
  * "Does it matter?" Raynia asked Jax. "Leola is  _alive._ "
  * "Where is she?" Jax asks.
  * Arin explains, and Jax sits down, resting his head in his hands. Not knowing is almost better, because there is absolutely  _no_ way they can break into a high-security facility and steal their daughter back, not even with Arin's securinty clearance.
  * "What do we do?" Raynia asks. Jax doesn't reply, and Raynia looks at him. "Jax, we have  _got_ to try to get her back."
  * "We can't," Jax says. Both Arin and Raynia gape at him.
  * "The Council was right," Jax continues. "Neither of us are fit to raise a child right now. We'll just wait till we're old enough."
  * " _Jax!_ "Raynia sputters.
  * "That's not going to work," Arin says quietly. Raynia looks at him.
  * "There's a no-contact order. You won't get her back, not if the Council has anything to say about it," Arin says.
  * Jax slams his fist against the table. "Then why tell us?!" he demands.
  * "Because I thought you would want to try to take her back," Arin says. He shakes his head. "I see now that that's not the case." He turns to leave.
  * "Arin, wait!" Raynia exclaims. She turns to Jax and leans forward over the table. "That is our  _daughter_ he is talking about. Leola is alive and you want to do  _nothing?"_
  * "What can we do?!" Jax snaps back. "We would lose  _everything_ if we disobeyed the Council.
  * Raynia stares at him, her eyes cold with more anger, more emotion than she's expressed in a long time. "I would give my  _life_ for my daughter. I thought you would do the same."
  * Jax stares at her for a long moment. He looks at Arin, then down at the floor. "I am sorry," he whispered.
  * Raynia glares a him, then turns to Arin. "Do you have a plan?"
  * Arin explains the plan to them. It involves stealing a shuttle, which they do, and breaking into the facility...
  * Which they  _almost_ do. But the ground-to-air defense detects them, and they have to make a break for it. The shuttle takes off into space, with Jax at the controls, desperately trying to avoid the police.
  * The shuttle is hit, and it starts to fall back to the planet. And no tractor beam engages to rescue them.
  * The Deltan police are going to let them die.
  * Jax and Raynia look at each other, and at Arin, none of them saying a word.
  * "I am so, so sorry, Raynia," Jax says. Raynia swallows and takes his hand.
  * And then, out of nowhere, a blue castleship shows up.
  * Jax and Raynia and Arin recognize it immediately and hail it. Its tractor beam snatches them up, just in time.




	8. Chapter 8

  * "We were coming to visit you," Pidge says, her brows knit with concern. She's noted the significant lack of a baby, and her heart aches for Raynia.
  * But the Deltans explain everything, and Pidge grows angry. Keith's angry, too; the entire Voltron force is.
  * "You're going to get that baby back," Keith says, and the others nod.
  * They try to negotiate with the Council, but they refuse to budge. Never mind the fact that it's  _Voltron_ they're arguing with, the Council refuses to budge.
  * "So much for repairing the damage we did," Jax mutters.
  * So they come up with another plan, one that involves Jax, Shiro, Keith, and Arin sneaking into the complex where Leola is. She's about to be moved in a few days, so they have to act fast.
  * They sneak in, successfully this time, and head to where several children are being cared for.
  * They spy Leola's bassinet, and Jax holsters his blaster and carefully scoops up the child. She squirms and whimpers in his arms.
  * "Shh," Jax whispers, his throat closing up. "It's okay, Little One. Ada's here." He holds the baby close, their foreheads touching, his eyes scrunched shut against tears.
  * Through the comms, Jax hears Raynia gasp, and he looks up to see Keith standing close by. The Red Paladin has activated his helmet camera so Raynia could see. Jax swallows, and Keith smiles at him.
  * "Jax," Shiro says, getting the Deltan's attention. Pidge had sent a quick genetics test along with them, to be  _sure_ they had the right baby. Shiro opens the case and hands a cotton swab to Jax.
  * "It's her," Jax says. But he obliges, and they wait an agonizing few minutes for the test to finish processing. It chirps and a green light flashes, and Jax smiles.
  * "Come on, Leola," he says softly. "We're going home." He tucks the baby inside his vest and holds her close with one arm.
  * "You have ten minutes before the guard rotation changes," Arin says through the comms. He's in the main control room, watching the cameras.
  * They exit the room and run silently down the halls towards the Green Lion (it's cloaked in the hangar, where Pidge and Raynia are waiting).
  * But an alarm goes off.
  * "Run!" Shiro orders. He and Keith run close to Jax, their bayards at the ready. The baby starts to cry, and Jax winces.
  * Soldiers round the corner, just as the group makes it into the hangars. 
  * "Go! We'll hold them off!" Shiro calls. Jax breaks into a sprint. He sees Raynia standing at the mouth of the Lion, waiting anxiously.
  * Sharp pain explodes along his back, and Jax cries out, dropping to his knees. He's careful of the baby, but he can't get up, the room is spinning...
  * " _No!I"_ Raynia cries out. Jax sees her grab a blaster and run towards him. Jax is gasping, his chest heaving, he's hunched over, one hand braced on the ground, the other cradling a screaming Leola.
  * Raynia fires the blaster at someone behind Jax, then drops to her knees. She gently takes Leola from him. Jax can't speak, it hurts to even  _breathe._ He reaches out and touches Raynia's face.
  * "Jax, no _, please_ ," she begs. "Get up, come on, get up..."
  * "I love you," Jax whispers. Raynia shakes her head. "Jax, _please._ "
  * "You must go," Jax chokes. Raynia's breath catches. She leans forward and kisses him, then gets to her feet. She turns and runs towards the Lion. Jax collapses to his side, forcing his eyes to stay open just long enough to make sure she makes it into the Lion.
  * She does, and a smile drifts across his face. His eyes drift shut. Footsteps run up behind him, hands turn him onto his back, and then he goes limp.
  * * * *

Later, Raynia is sitting in her and Jax's quarters aboard the ship. She's fed Leola, changed her, and set her in her crib. Her baby sleeps peacefully, but Raynia's thoughts are gong 90 miles per hour.
  * There's a knock on the door, and Raynia's head jerks up. "Enter," she says. Princess Allura and Pidge enter, the latter wearing her translator.
  * "Jax is stable," Allura says in Raynia's native language. "He was hit quite badly, but we got him to the healing pods just in time." She smiled gently. "He will be all right, Raynia."
  * Raynia swallows and nods, and suddenly her breath is coming faster, and hot tears are streaming down her face. Allura sits next to her on the bed and pulls her close, and Raynia sobs, the stress of the last few weeks all coming out at once. Pidge's hand is gentle on her arm, and Allura holds her close.
  * "It will be all right, Raynia," Allura murmurs.
  * And for once, Raynia beleives it.




	9. Chapter 9

  * "I know  _exactly_ how to hold a baby," Lance says to Keith. "And you're doing it wrong."
  * "No I'm not!" Keith protests. He glances at Pidge, then Raynia. "Am I?"
  * Leola coos, and Raynia laughs. "You're doing fine," she says.
  * "Ha," Keith smirks at Lance.
  * The young Paladins all take turns holding the baby in the lounge. It's been a week, and still Jax's healing pod hasn't finished. Raynia is  _exhausted_ , and she curls up on the couch across from the Paladins. Her eyes drift shut to the sound of quiet laughter and the baby's happy gurgles.
  * The lounge grows quieter, and Raynia falls asleep.
  * A hand runs gently through her hair, and she hums softly. Her eyes snap open in realization, and she sits up. Jax is sitting next to her, holding Leola. Raynia can't speak, she only stares at him in disbelief.
  * "Hi," Jax says, smiling.
  * Raynia lunges forward and hugs him, and Leola coos. Raynia laughs and looks down at her daughter, gently touching her cheek.
  * A few days later, they get a call from the Deltan homeworld. It's Arin, allowed to make one call before he's locked up in prison (he didn't make it out in time, and was arrested).
  * "Do not trouble yourselves over this," Arin says. He smiles at Jax and Raynia. "It is my honor to help you."
  * They make arrangements to leave the castleship on the repaired shuttle. Raynia's parents call, and they're very upset. Raynia and Jax have disobeyed the Council, and there's no way they'll be allowed to return and keep their baby.
  * But Raynia explains to them that she's stronger than before. She knows she doesn't have to prove that she's fit to be a mother. She's already done so. She's battled her anxiety, will continue to do so for the rest of her life, possibly, but she's determined to rise above it. She knows she's strong enough to raise Leola.
  * And Raynia's parents accept this. Raynia's ada looks at Jax sternly through the camera.
  * "You will do whatever you must to protect your family," he says.
  * "I will, sir," Jax says, nodding respectfully at him.
  * "Then it is my honor to call you my son in law," Raynia's ada says, finally smiling at Jax.
  * Thelev too says his goodbyes, apologizing profusely for not being able to help them.
  * "Your parents would be proud of you, Jax," he says, and Jax's throat closes up and he nods.
  * They leave the Paladins, aboard the shuttle. They reach the point where they can turn on the autopilot, and then just sit in silence. Jax stares out at the stars, and Raynia looks down at her wedding band. Tears prickle her eyes--she'll never see her parents again, nor Arin, nor Thelev. The prospect of starting anew is terrifying, and she can feel her chest tightening up with anxiety again.
  * Leola cries, in the living space above the cockpit. Raynia climbs up there and scoops up the baby. She holds her close and shushes her. Her eyes shut and she sits down, trying not to cry.
  * Jax comes up a little later, and sits next to them. He holds both Raynia and Leola close, and they sit in silence.
  * And then Jax slowly, softly, starts to sing a lullaby. Leola quiets in Raynia's arms, and Raynia's eyes drift shut.
  * "Everything will be okay, Little One," Jax murmurs, taking the baby from Raynia. And Raynia's not sure if Jax is talking to her or Leola.
  * But it doesn't matter, because he's right.



* * *

 

This song is similar to what Jax sings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jc156U51uM


End file.
